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It’s not easy finishing drug and alcohol rehab and then trying to go back out in the world to make meaningful social connections.For one thing, when you want to meet up with someone, the typical arrangement is: “Let’s get a drink!“My boyfriend now — who is not in the program — doesn't see me as an addict.He sees me as a smart, fun, sexy, loving mom who doesn't drink and who has changed her life. It's also awesome to have a reprieve from the world of AA, which, quite honestly, can be a fucking bore.”And, the cons of dating people who aren’t sober? And, the differences in lifestyle that don’t feel huge in the beginning of a relationship can begin to take a toll down the line.“The pros of dating in the program are that, chances are, the guy won't leave me when he finds out some of the things I have done.Or how many people I have slept with,” she says, half-jokingly.It takes a lot of work and a lot of time to squelch it in all its myriad forms.
Hannah, a designer with startling blue eyes, is currently in a healthy relationship with a guy who’s been sober for almost 12 years. “Sober guys who are working a program [following the steps recommended by AA and NA] are the greatest.Sam confesses that her current boyfriend drinks moderately. If there is anything that will jeopardize the relationship, it will be that I don't feel that I can be with someone who drinks as regularly as he does.“Hannah echoes a similar sentiment, “Normie guys are great, I guess, but I think after some time, it would be too easy to convince myself that maybe I, too, could have ‘just one’ glass of wine with dinner.